You're So Vain...

...You probably think this blog is about you.

We all know someone that fits the "type".  He or she is constantly checking themselves out in the mirror, flexing their muscles (or what muscle they think they have), and has a cocky-as-hell attitude.  Some truly are THAT good-looking and can get away with it.  Others, well not so much.

I like to think that there are two types of people that fit the vain mold.  There is the traditional, "Type 1 Vain Person": born beautiful, knows they're beautiful, and can get away with having the stuck-up because I know I'm hot attitude.  Does this mean they deserve to have an excuse to act this way?  Most definitely not.  But...it's understandable.  They've lived their entire life this way, and unfortunately, until something devastating happens that takes away their natural outer beauty, then they'll never understand just how vain or naive they are.

The "Type 2 Vain Person" is one who acquires beauty in later life.  Let me stress again, that this is outer beauty.  For example, the Type 2 Vain Person might have been an overweight, bullied youth who works away their excess fat and then in turn, becomes obsessed with vanity.  This person forgets where they came from and the pain they may have mentally endured and instead, becomes cocky and obsessed with their new-found good looks.  The Type 2 Vain Person may also have at some point undergone superficial surgery to alter their looks (i.e. nose job, breast implants, liposuction, etc.) to achieve the beauty that has so alluded them for the better part of their life.  They too, forget what it felt like prior to becoming what society deems beautiful or in the words of Zoolander, "Really, really good-looking".

Due to the line of work I'm in, I encounter both types of vain people on a daily basis.  And, for so many of them, I feel a sick sense of empathy.  No wait, sympathy is a better word to describe what I'm meaning to say.  Day in and day out, I hold conversations with people who believe themselves to be God's gift to the World.  Little do they know, I also hold conversations with people who knew these same people in high school, college, etc. and who can tell wonderful stories of an awkward youth and share the pictures to back it up.  (Oh, and of course, there's Facebook to do the same).  So recently, it left me to wonder...just why do people become so self-obsessed and vain?

While I've never considered myself to be a complete mutant freak, I haven't ever considered myself to be gorgeous or beautiful either.  I learned the hard way after a freak injury and follow-up car accident, that strength and outer beauty can be taken away in mere seconds and in some cases, never be re-gained.  In order to make myself truly a "pretty" person, I try my best to remain nice to everyone I encounter.  I have a sense of humor, a healthy sense of humility, and what I'd like to consider a truly beautiful inner self.

What all the vain Type Ones and Type Twos fail to realize is that outer beauty fades.  Humans age.  We wrinkle.  We lose our luster.  And in certain, unspeakable instances, we can lose any and all exterior beauty and muscle in mere seconds.  While I understand the human need for acceptance, I do not quite get the flexing in the mirror or the attitude that comes along with finally achieving a fleeting appearance.  This is life.  You're colored hair, fake breasts, injected lips, toned muscles, and straight teeth do not make you a better person...so, I'll just come out and say it on behalf of everyone else out there thinking the same thing: GET OVER YOURSELF.  For real.

Enjoy a summation of today's rant by Janet Jackson and Carly Simon:
http://youtu.be/QVkibLD5GbA

Yours in vanity,
Freeway Fairington